In the morning when I go into the kitchen, I try to make coffee without any success. I used to buy my coffee from Tim Hortons in my way to Jewel Envy and now I stand in front of my window and I ask myself, what has happened?
Nothing is the same, I don’t go out, I can’t enjoy a bus ride and although has only been four weeks, it seems a life time!
Where are my friends, my neighbours? I live in a building and even when I go down to throw out my garbage, I rarely see any one. If I do, they generally turn away because no one wants to get to close.
I now stand in line to go inside the grocery store, I were a mask and a pair of gloves! What happened to us?
I miss my bench at the studio, my friends, my work, and my old life, I had a life before, a great life, I hugged a lot, I kissed a lot, I laughed a lot, and I enjoyed every minute of it. I’m not keen being on my own, I need people around me to feel like myself again, I miss my other life a lot!
But even in the incredible times that we are living now, my memories, my dreams, my loves, are intact. I’m very lucky. I never missed the opportunity to count my blessings! Life has been difficult, with a lot of good and a lot of bad, but if I look back, I would change very few things. The good more than the bad has made of me the person I am and I like myself!
I don’t know if my life, our lives are going to be the same again, but hopefully, we all will be much more human than before, we know now many things that we didn’t know before.
This poem from Albert Camus seems to capture how I feel.
” In the midst of hatred it seemed to me that there was an invincible love within me, in the midst of the tears it seemed to me that there was an invincible smile within me, in the midst of the chaos it seemed to me that there was an invincible calm within me. I realized despite all that in the middle of winter there was an invincible summer inside me, and that makes me happy because no matter how hard the world pushes against me there is something better pushing back.” Albert Camus